Pregnancy PSA

Consider this a PSA.  It might be one of those common sense things you already know, but serves to inform the pubic at large and those that might be lacking in sense not so common.

A few things pregnant women do not want to hear even if you think they are funny/clever/insightful:

- "Looks like you are going to have that baby any day" (Actually said by my neighbor about 6 weeks ago.  Not. even. close. buddy.) 

- "Well, you're just about to pop aren't you?"  (I was asked this today and yes, in about 8-9 weeks.)

- "How many babies do you have in there?  Couldn't be just one!" (This was actually said to me by the woman who works in the church office, followed by "I can say that I'm a woman".  I did tell her that no, you can't.  I did not say the following: And by the way skinny women without children should be especially mindful to keep quiet since you don't know when the heck you're talking about.)

 - "Don't you hate getting so chubby?" and or "Pregnancy makes you so fat!" ( I think this is obvious, but no woman wants to hear that they are "chubby, fat, kinda heavy, thick, etc." whether pregnant or not.)

- "Ugh, I hated being pregnant!  The backaches, the weight gain, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH"
 (I am sure you were a joy to be around! Honestly, I know that not everyone enjoys pregnancy and there are some not-so-fun "side effects".  But, women that are currently pregnant don't want to hear about how you felt about it.  We can commiserate at a later date when my back doesn't hurt.)

- "Are you sure you should be doing THAT when you're pregnant?"  (I am not broken or disabled in some way, I'm creating a miracle in my uterus.  Women do it every day, it's not an olympic sport, but yes, you can hold the door open for me and don't look at me cross-eyed if I have a cup of coffee. As an aside, during my first pregnancy there was a colleague of mine that was downright horrified that I continued to work out while pregnant and also 'gasp!' did sit ups.  He suggested I confirm with my doctor that it was ok. NOT appropriate.)

Here are a few things pregnant women like to hear:

-  "October!  How can you be due in October, you look too small!"  (Said to me by an interior designer colleague on Friday.  He seemed sincere and also said the following:

- "I just think pregnant women are so beautiful!" (that's good too, especially if you are an endearing gay man who just might be telling the truth.)

- "You look great!" (or any other vague complimentary phrase that suggests you don't think the women is hideous and you feel you can be sincere).

- "I'd like to give you a foot massage."  (This one is for husbands (to their own wives) only!) Also you can insert here the following:  take you to lunch, go to the store and buy you ice cream right now (Jason did this last week even though what I asked him to get was printer paper, especially nice since it was Ben & Jerrys), let you sleep in, give you a back rub, etc. etc.  You get the idea.  You can make us feel nice without too much pity interjected).